A Modest Proposal 2.0

*This is a satirical article meant for humourous purposes. The views expressed here do not reflect the views of the author*
The CII has a generous reputation regarding women and women’s rights. Perhaps too generous. Currently, the CII are on a path towards gender equality but perhaps the best way to show equality is to show that men can do what women can. With that being noted, it must be realised that the only reason women still exist is because they can give birth to children. Men need to prove they are equally capable in this charge. Moreover, with proof arising that the existence of women is nothing more than a slap in the face of Islam, it is even more so urgent that we realise, and highlight how men can step up to the plate.
Genetic engineering has come a long way, it has helped cure diseases, give identity to those who are unable to fully identify. Obviously referring to gender reassignment surgery and cosmetic surgery like https://reflectclinic.co.uk/ have been doing for years.  And now Genetic Engineering will be used to let men give birth to children. The process of birth is not a hard one to follow, you merely squeeze out a child. As for the child being there in the first, surely with the blessings of Allah – which the CII has always had – it will definitely be possible for a man to be with child. Via surgery the child could be delivered and the whole necessity of needing women would be completely eradicated.
We do not need women, they are there only there to tempt those of faith. To lead other pure and true Muslim men to the path of the devil. They are indeed the servants if not the disciples of Satan himself. To suggest we keep allowing them to bear the future of humanity is unquestionable. Women are the sole reason Pakistan is descending into madness. The ‘Heera Mandi’ is only popular because Satan’s disciples lure pure pious men there. The recent torrent of earthquakes is only more proof as to why women are evil. As Maulana Fazl-Ur-Rehman so wisely said to Khabristan Times, women wearing jeans are the reason why earthquakes occur. He even suggested a sagely solution to this impertinent matter “They should wear giant flour sacks to cover themselves”. It is with this same vigour and thought that I suggest men should be re-engineered such that we are able to give birth.
What would be so wrong with Men giving birth? If you think about it, it actually makes a lot of sense. By Allah’s will and grace, it is obvious that we men will be blessed with boys. Girls are out of the question. With just men being born, they themselves will slowly adapt to the concept of giving birth. The children while growing will be housed in our abdomens, the stomach is as comfortable as the womb, besides how would the child know the difference. Through surgery, the child will be removed from the male. With no more women in the world, the world will essentially have half of current population so the matter of depleting resources will be over too because the distribution will now be reduced.
So all in all, it is in Pakistan’s if not the world’s benefit that women be removed from the human cycle completely, allow them to die out, there is no need for them.

Syed Taabish Ali Naqvi

"Stand out, for those who belong sacrifice the part of them that's extraordinary."
Avid writer, lover of fiction.
@stanmanisreal
Email me me at stanmanlymanny@gmail.com about things that irk you about LUMS, and maybe i'll write up on it.

One Comment Add yours

  1. Haris Saleemi says:

    Very well written, beautiful piece of satire. However, don’t you think that ‘satire’ is actually blurring the lines between lies and truth?

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