{"id":470,"date":"2021-08-17T03:56:12","date_gmt":"2021-08-16T22:56:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/dailystudent.lums.edu.pk\/?p=470"},"modified":"2023-06-04T09:09:41","modified_gmt":"2023-06-04T04:09:41","slug":"zoom-a-mirror-into-body-dysmorphic-disorder","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dailystudent.lums.edu.pk\/index.php\/2021\/08\/17\/zoom-a-mirror-into-body-dysmorphic-disorder\/","title":{"rendered":"Zoom: A Mirror Into Body Dysmorphic Disorder"},"content":{"rendered":"

By Hajrah Yousaf\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

TW: Body Dysmorphic Disorder<\/em><\/p>\n

Hashim describes it as being hypnotized.<\/p>\n

As much as he wants to stop looking into a warped version of himself in the mirror, he just can\u2019t stop. No matter how exhausted he gets (and exhaustion is always a given), he can\u2019t look away. The vision in the mirror is a snake charmer, and boy is Hashim charmed.\u00a0<\/p>\n

No, \u201ccharmed is the wrong word,\u201d Hashim says. \u201cIt\u2019s more like being repulsed yet still transfixed. If I could look away, I would.\u201d<\/p>\n

Hashim suffers from Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), which is a psychological disorder recognized by the DSM 5 and characterized by a preoccupation with a perceived flaw(s) in one\u2019s appearance. These flaws cause a lot of emotional distress and can often impact one\u2019s functioning. BDD is frequently accompanied by other mental illnesses such as OCD, anxiety, surgaslot<\/a> depression, and also low self-esteem.<\/p>\n

One way the symptoms of the disorder present themselves for Hashim is by prompting him to continuously check his appearance in the mirror. He admitted to having spent hours looking at his reflection and criticizing his weight. Regretting all this wasted time, he wished he\u2019d spent it studying, getting some much-needed sleep, or taking care of his well being in general.<\/p>\n

This particular symptom isn\u2019t only faced by Hashim. Zara recalls being surrounded by mirrors in her A levels classrooms. \u201cI am kind of obsessed with mirrors ever since I went to that school. I can\u2019t not look at myself in the mirror because I need to see myself looking pretty so that no one else can see me ugly,\u201d she says. \u201cThe irony of the situation is that I am currently looking in the mirror, watching myself speak,\u201d she laughs.<\/p>\n

With classes being online on Zoom, Zara faces having a mirror in the classroom once more: having her video on lets her see her reflection constantly. \u201cIt\u2019s like being in class but having a huge mirror in front of you, and that is not healthy,\u201d she sighs. She reports being unable to relax or concentrate in class because she\u2019s always conscious of how she looks.<\/p>\n

Unlike Hashim and Zara, Nirmeen never had issues with mirrors. Their reflection in a phone camera did seem to bother them, and the problem has been exacerbated with Zoom classes. They even recall trying to rearrange their furniture so as to catch their study-table in the best light. \u201cI\u2019m scared to drink water because I\u2019m worried about how I\u2019d look on camera. And these aren\u2019t things that you think about in a traditional class setting since you\u2019re not staring at other\u2019s faces and they\u2019re not staring at yours.\u201d This forces Nirmeen to be confronted with their appearance and also makes them feel watched, self-conscious, and distracted.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Similarly, Nimra resorts to remaining physically still for the entirety of her classes so as to counteract the anxiety she feels about being able to see herself continuously. When she\u2019s not motionless, she\u2019s usually shaking. The back pain caused by stiff shoulders due to anxiety doesn\u2019t seem to help, either. As of now, Nimra is unable to concentrate when an instructor toto macau<\/a> is speaking or make notes. She\u2019s always focused on how crooked she sees her nose as or is constantly comparing her weight or skin to the many videos next to hers.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s more, unaccommodating instructors make it even worse. According to Nimra, all her SDSB classes require her video to be switched on. If it is switched off for even a second, the instructors cold call her. They often also call people out for fixing their hair, etc., which only adds to the stress that Nimra feels. Under these conditions, going to class is an ordeal for her, and she is unable to reap many of the benefits of her education.<\/p>\n

This particular uneasiness isn\u2019t limited to students, either. Rahima is an alumnus and often uses Teams (an application similar to Zoom) for her work meetings. She usually keeps her video off. However, it is required at times. \u201cI try to stay as still as possible and hope to not catch any attention,\u201d she admits, a tactic similar to Nimra\u2019s. \u201cI\u2019m not able to concentrate on the meeting at all, that\u2019s for sure,\u201d she replies, when asked about whether it affects her functioning. Rahima suspects her BDD is related to her OCD and that it makes some of her other conditions, including anxiety and depression, even worse.<\/p>\n

Now, some readers may be inclined to suggest the \u2018hide self-view option\u2019 on Zoom. However, conversations with these people reveal that this isn\u2019t a great solution and can even make the problem worse. \u201cI can\u2019t turn self-view off because I can\u2019t not look at myself,\u201d Zara explains. \u201cIf I don\u2019t know what I look like, but everyone else sees me not looking beautiful, that is not okay with me.\u201d In this way, this option adds to her anxiety. Similarly, Nimra recalls constantly imagining what she looks like even when she has the \u2018hide self-view\u2019 option enabled.<\/p>\n

Many individuals are suffering through online classes (and meetings) in various ways. These problems don\u2019t usually get talked about often because of the sufferer\u2019s reluctance to do so. Yet, we must have these conversations and bring such issues to the administration\u2019s notice because they have very potent impacts on people\u2019s lives. Zoom is far from the perfect solution to the problem of online classes, as these conversations show. Adding to it, the fact that some instructors make it worse, the effects on students are devastating.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

*Names have been changed to maintain anonymity.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By Hajrah Yousaf\u00a0 TW: Body Dysmorphic Disorder Hashim describes it as being hypnotized. As much as he wants to stop looking into a warped version of himself in the mirror, he just can\u2019t stop. No matter how exhausted he gets (and exhaustion is always a given), he can\u2019t look away. The vision in the mirror […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":975,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[6,14],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailystudent.lums.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/470"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailystudent.lums.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailystudent.lums.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailystudent.lums.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailystudent.lums.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=470"}],"version-history":[{"count":13,"href":"https:\/\/dailystudent.lums.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/470\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1159,"href":"https:\/\/dailystudent.lums.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/470\/revisions\/1159"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailystudent.lums.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/975"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dailystudent.lums.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=470"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailystudent.lums.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=470"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dailystudent.lums.edu.pk\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=470"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}