Twelve Signs That She’s Definitely Not into You
Have you ever been stuck thinking: Is she into me? Is she not? Should I ask her out? Should I not? Well, guess what. Not all the girls will be singing Ariana’s “Into You” to your face and it’s not easy knowing who’s into you and who’s not. So to save you the embarrassment of denial here’s a list of signs that’ll show you that she’s just not that into you. We will go from the obvious to the subtle.
- Okay, guys! So this one is for those of you who don’t know how this thing works. If your message has been left on “seen”, you have been ignored. There are no Buts to that. If she liked you, she would’ve left whatever she was doing just to say something back. As long as she wasn’t dying, there is no valid excuse. So open your eyes and face the reality because you, my friend, have just been what they call “seen-zoned”.
- This one is somewhat related to the first point. If she doesn’t see your message but replies after a day saying that she was busy or her Wi-Fi was slow, when clearly she was online 5 minutes ago, you have clearly been dissed. You were basically not that important, so why waste your time, dude? Move on.
- When you’re having lunch with her and she starts staring at other guys when you are clearly talking to her, then know that she ain’t about you. She clearly thinks you are not worth being stared at, so, yeah, she looks at other guys. Best thing to do: to not make a move.
- When you ask to meet her and she always brings her “girlfriends” along because, what the heck, they were there and she just couldn’t say no. Just know there are probably a lot of things they are saying about you in their whatsapp group. And please do not deceive yourself by saying she brought her friends over so she could show you off. The world doesn’t work like that.
- When she talks to you about her crushes. Please, please, know that she basically thinks of you as her gay friend (because clearly), and she has become so used to the fact that you are going to give her good advice and will probably tell her all she needs to know about the guy, which will further her belief of not being into you.
- When she’s eating with you, she’ll be more concentrated on her food than on you and will most probably make zero eye contact with you the entire time. Don’t even say it. She isn’t into you because NO! Food is not life and food is not bae. If she liked you, she’d wait for you to finish and then take a bite.
- You know that time when someone breaks her heart and she goes all emo and comes to you with that clichéd tale of how “all men are the same”, and then you just have to ask her “not me, right?” and she goes like “oh you don’t count”? Well, basically, that is one of the subtlest/clearest ways she can tell you that she is so not that into you.
- This applies to when you are texting. When she is using shorter words like ‘tho’ or ‘u’ and using no emojis, she is basically not putting her mind or emotions into the texts – thus clearly implying that “oh you’re my friend, I can text you like this and you won’t care”. Well, clearly, using no emojis shows she has no emotions (for you).
- This one goes out to those on campus. When you’re just randomly walking around and see her and you think you’ll probably have a good talk and ~chill~ but she just goes ‘hi’ and smiles and says she’ll see you later, well then…. wait for it… she just avoided your company! Boom. Let her go.
- This is probably my favorite one. It’s your birthday and you wait for a long post about yourself, but instead she just writes ‘HBD’ on your wall with a few cracker emojis. Clearly she wasn’t dying or mentally disturbed, so why? Because she is clearly not into you.
- When she doesn’t ask for your number even though you had an AMAZING time *rolls eyes*. Basically you’re never going to see her again, and guess what? If she liked you she would’ve asked, but she didn’t, so don’t go on waiting around like Taylor Swift in “Love Story”. Because nope, she ain’t coming.
- When she describes the “perfect guy” and you realize – Oh wait! This is the exact opposite of me! Well then, just know you can’t compete with that and you probably shouldn’t. Just saying.
Well, these were just a few of the massive hints the average female gives off to blow guys off. All the above points are basically signs to know if a girl is looking for a relationship or not. She can still be your best friend if she is doing all of the above but not your girlfriend. My fellow dudes, believe in the concept of YOLO but do not embarrass yourself to the point of no return. Because, yes! You have one life but you also need to live it. #liveinpeacebros
The above article is a piece of satire and is reflective of the author’s personal opinion.